I Lack Nothing

     I have conformed to a pattern of this world.  I have been believing that I need to provide for myself or else I will have nothing.  I have been depending on myself for everything I need. 

     I have been reading the book of Isaiah, and wow.  I wasn’t expecting God to show me so much so quickly.  By the second chapter God began showing me that when you have many possessions and riches you slowly stop depending on Him.  You stop depending on Him to provide what you need and you start bowing down to the things you have and the things that you don’t have.

    When I came back to Costa Rica I packed for one month, nothing more.  Here I am, a month and a half later and still in here, planning on being here for a little while longer.  One of the first thoughts I had about staying was ‘I have nothing, what am I going to do? How can I get my things from Canada to Costa Rica? How I am I going to stay here with nothing?’.  I right way began to think that I lacked.  

     Recently God told me this ‘when I provide for you, you will lack nothing’.  Immediately I began to question this.  How is this possible?  I will always need something, shampoo, new music, food, and who knows what else!  The list goes on! How can I lack nothing?  To me this seemed impossible.  But then God began to show me something, He began to speak to me.

     ‘My daughter, the things of this earth are meaningless.  When you provide for yourself you begin to create idols and then you bow down to them.  But if you allow me to be your provider you will never lack anything.  I know exactly what you need.  I will not let you go without.  If you trust me in this area you will begin to see that all you need is exactly what I give you and nothing more.  Let Me be your great Provider.’

     These words that God spoke to me began to make sense.  I will always want what I cannot have when I am providing for myself, I will never have enough.  But if I allow God to provide for me, He sees the need, He fills it and then bang, I lack nothing.  I want to know the real feeling of contentment. 

     I didn’t ever think I would be thankful for the little amount of stuff I brought with me to Costa Rica, but here I am, thanking God.  If I had brought anything else with me I might not have been able to understand this revelation that God is giving me.  I might have been too busy bowing down to the possessions that I have.  But thankfully, here I am, finding myself looking to God and feeling content, content with two weeks’ worth of clothes, a laptop, a bible and notebook, and enough shampoo for one more shower.  I have everything I need.  Thank you Lord.

‘Surely the great houses will become desolate, the fine mansions left without occupants.’  Isaiah 5:9

Soaking in the Love

          God’s love, it changes you and you can’t ever be the same.  Each time I encounter God’s love I am inspired to go deeper.  Deeper into everything that God is, and what is God?  Love. So here I am wanting to know more love, wanting to feel love in a new way, and wanting to express love in a new way.  I just want to love, in everything that I say, in everything that I do.  I just want to give more love and give it unconditionally, to whoever.  Even to those who are different then me, even to those who hate me!   

         ‘Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.   And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’    Matthew 22:37-39

         Love the Lord your God and love your neighbour.  This has always been a struggle for me.  Not the part about loving God, but about loving my neighbour.  I don’t know how it all began, but somehow, sometime I was taught that there are people who are easy to love, people who take a little bit longer to love and people who just aren’t lovable at all.  How awful!   Why was I ever taught this? How did this even become a thought process in my mind?

          God has done a lot in my life this year.  He’s taught me a lot about His love.  And the more I learned about His love, the more I wanted to know, the deeper I wanted to go into it.  So as I explored His love and went deeper, I began to understand something.  I began to understand that the more love I felt, the more love I wanted to share.  I began to see those people who aren’t lovable, as lovable.  I began to have this passion to love those people who I never thought I could love.  

         When you truly begin to love someone you start to change your way of thinking for them.  You allow their love to soak everything you are.  God love is a love so strong, stronger than any human love that you cannot help but be different because of it.  You cannot help but see things differently after you’ve been completely drenched in His love.

God is pouring His love down on me, it's soaking me, every part of me. 

Remind My Soul That I am Yours

        One thing I will never fully understand is the love of God.  It's something that continues to amaze me.  No matter how hard I try, I will never fully understand the love of God.  And to be honest, I am so glad that I will never fully understand it.  If I did, I would never be able to have those moments of new revelation on how much He loves me. I would never be reminded of that acceptance found in His love. I would never be reminded to stand in awe before Him. And I would never feel that fullness, that fullness that come with being reminded of how much He loves me!

        A love encounter with God has to be one of my most favourite feelings ever.  To walk into His embrace and feel His arms come around me.  To hear His promises in my ear, 'My delight, how I love you, o there is nothing that could ever separate you from my love, no matter what you do or what you say, I will always love you. I will always love you.' to hear those words, to feel those words wrap around every part of me.  O, I cannot think of a better feeling.

        Over the past week I have been reminded several times of the love God has for me.  I've been reminded in a gentle whisper.  I've been reminded in a violent shake.  And every time it has happened I am overwhelmed, there is nothing I can do but weep and be in awe that God loves me.  God loves me. Even after everything I’ve done.  Even after I choose sin over and over again, He still loves me.  He still calls me ‘His Delight’, He still smiles at me, he still wants me.

         All I can think about is His love. It’s constantly on my mind.  All I want to do is just be with Him. But with all that want, with all those feelings, I still don’t give Him full control of my life.  With all that love He gives, I still can’t give Him everything.   I still can’t seem to give Him all of me, my time, my thoughts, my feelings, my love.  And it kills me to think about it, I want to give Him everything so badly! I need him to have it all, I want him to have it all.  But still I’m held back.  Will I ever be able to fully love Him back?

     Lead me to the rock that is higher than I