It
has been months since I’ve had the urge to write. But tonight it was back. Hallelujah!
Sometimes
we go through the desert, where everything dries up and the path we are walking
on seems to disappear and look unfamiliar. And the lively heart becomes tired
and weak. Confusion and desperation come in and cloud your judgement, and you
begin to panic and run or stand still. You forget all that you know; you begin
to lose yourself in anything that seems slightly familiar and safe.
I’ve found myself here recently. Totally desperate and completely confused. Wondering in circles. It took a long time to see that I was even here, lost in the desert. I just kept thinking ‘just keep going a little bit farther and you’ll find that path again and you’ll be back on track’. I didn’t think I was so stubborn, HA, was I wrong. For months I just kept going, I just kept thinking, “Hey, I’m fine, I’m fine.. I’ll make it, only a little bit farther.” but then I began to realize that nothing makes sense and that every path I was take just brings me back to the same spot.
And tonight I’m finally admitting it... I’m so lost.
I’m
so confused.
I’m frustrated
I’m frustrated
I’m
exhausted
I
have no idea where I’m going.
“Here I am God. Here I am. Broken. Beat up. Hurting. Desperate. I need you. My weakness is too great. So here I am. Take control. Take my life. Have me, all of me”
Oh goodness, there is something SO powerful in admitting your weak and that you need Him. When you allow Him to be alive in your life, wow, watch out! He moves.
Tonight He moved. He showed me something so simple, but so very profound for me.
John 5:15
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever
abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me
you can do nothing.
Bam,
bam!
He
is the vine.
I
am a branch.
Without
Him, I can do nothing. I can be nothing. I am nothing.
I
might not know what I’m doing next or where I am going to be. But the one thing
I know, and really the only thing I need, is Him. I need Him. Lots of Him. And
only Him. I guess it’s time to let him prune this branch! And willingly I will
let Him, because I desperately want to be back on His path
Oh man, I feel like it rained in my bedroom tonight!
