A Glimpse of God's Heart

     For me, one of the greatest things of this life is to get a glimpse of God's heart.  Every glimpse I get helps me to know and see my heavenly Father in a new, better way.  I'm always asking Him to show me what's on His heart, I want to see the world and his people, through the eyes of His heart.  And o, let me tell you it's a beautiful thing to see with the eye's of Christ.

    Recently he showed me something.  He told me to read in Jeremiah.  If you have ever read Jeremiah and really understood it you would begin to see right away that God was sharing a piece of His heart through this book.  This book has taught me so much over the last six months.  At the beginning of my DTS one of the things that got my attention and spoke to me was that I affect God, the choices I make, the things I say, all have an affect on God.  He doesn't just have one emotion all the time.  Since I learned that and my eyes were opened to God's heart, God has used Jeremiah a lot when he speaks to me.

    But the most recent thing he showed me through this book was that he has this ache in his heart for all the people who know that he is there but choose to follow after the things of this world.  He has this want for those who know of Him, to know Him, personally.  As I was reading through some of Jeremiah, faces started to go through my mind, so many faces.  Faces of people I love, people close to my heart, that know of God, but choose to walk from getting to know Him.. I can't begin to described the ache inside of my heart.  So many lost people and God wants them all, no matter what they've done, He aches for them.  As I read more I began to feel, rejection.  O, what a terrible feeling to feel.  God has been trying and trying to get them to turn from their sinful ways and follow Him, but instead of choosing Him, they choose the ways of this world.  And the sting of rejection comes painfully.
 
     At first I began to question why God would show me this, but then, as I started to have this ache inside of my heart for the same thing.. an ache for those people who's faces flooded my mind.  I understood why he told me, He knew I would be moved by it.  He knew that I would see those around me who have rejected Him.  And He trusted me, knowing that I would want to bring change and not just let this ache pass.

     To see a bit of God's heart is a beautiful thing, but to know that he trusts me enough to share His heart with me, that means so much more..

The Next Adventure

   
Hey Ya'll!

   I am so sorry that I never blogged at the end of my adventure in Costa Rica! At the end of my DTS time went so fast and before I knew it I was at home, and then again I didn't have much time at home before God had me moving on to a new and exciting adventure!

       So now I am back in Canada.  I have been here for a month and ten days (but who's counting...).   This time has been filled with so many mixed emotions.  A big part of me wanted to stay in Costa Rica and a not as big part of me wanted to come home, see my family and see what God had next for me.  It has been such a roller coaster ride.  It's been hard not to have my friends around, the people who I had grown so close in the months that I was away.  We were all put together so quickly, practically forced to become friends, but we didn't have just a basic friendship in the end, we became deep and personal friends, with the foundation of our friendships being God.  My friendship with my DTS family is like no other friendship I have ever experienced.  So to be thrown together and then in 5 months time say good-bye and split up, never knowing if your ever going to see them again.. Yeah, now you can see why it hasn't been so easy coming home.

     But my biggest struggle since being home is the distance I have often felt between me and God.  It hasn't been easy to connect with God the way that I did when I was away.  Unfortunately, most of this is my own fault.  I have come to realize that God hasn't changed, He is still as passionate about me as he was when I was in Costa Rica, He is still pursing me and wanting to spend that special time with me each day. The change isn't in me, I still want to be close with God, I still want those time with Him where we talk and share our hearts desires with one another.  I have realized the things that have changed, the people around me, distractions in front of me and location of where I now live.  

     People - I went from being totally surrounded by people who love God and are trying to pursue Him with all their hearts, people who encouraged me daily to be digging deeper into God, to having only a couple people.. a skype date away to encourage me, which unfortunately isn't able to happen daily.

     Distractions - While I was in Costa Rica, there were tons of distractions, some are the same as here at home and some totally different, but while I was away it took time to eliminate the distractions of that time.  It took time to get into a lifestyle where those distractions didn't distract me from getting personal with God.  So, I am starting from the beginning again, working to get rid of everything that distracts me from getting into that place where I can get deeper with God.

      Location - Home, Canada, not YWAM. I am no longer living in a community with people who are passionately serving the Lord.  There is no more Monday morning worship times as a base, no more Wednesday morning intercession times.  I never realized how important those times were to my relationship with God.  And now without them, I have find new ways to fill those holes so that God and I can have more time together

     I knew it wasn't going to be easy coming home, but I don't think I expected it to be as hard as it has been.  It's been a struggle, but because of this struggle God has been able to teach me, he's been teaching me a lot when I begin to think about it.  It doesn't matter where you are, who your with or what things you have going on in your life.  God will use it, he will teach you through it.  He will teach you the importance of fighting for Him.  He will show how it's possible to spend time with him, even when it feels like there's no time.  He can teach you anything and everything, if you just let him.  He is with you wherever you go, just waiting for you to make that first move..


"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”  ~ Deuteronomy 31:8


Thanks everyone for your love and support!  I appreciate all of it.
Much love,
Hannah